http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/heral....MMON_S1.article Our JackHammers can hit home
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May 13, 2009
As if the city of Joliet didn't have enough money problems, the Joliet JackHammers kick off their season Friday amid reports the team is in financial trouble.
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• Holiday Parade Night -- Joliet's Light Up The Holidays and Easter parades are such a hit with families, the JackHammers will reproduce the experience. Between innings, kids will line the infield wall, where a procession of local politicians and business owners will ride past in convertibles, pelting their happy little faces with candy projectiles at point blank range.
• Joliet Public Schools Night -- The JackHammers honor the Joliet grade school board and administration by boosting team mascot Jammer's salary to the "going rate" of $228,000 a year. In addition, Jammer will receive a $7,000 annual automobile allowance, which he'll use to trade in his cramped Volkswagen Beetle for a shiny new Mercedes.
• Drew Peterson Night -- In a tribute to Bolingbrook's most eligible bachelor, lucky male fans will compete in the Blue Barrel Roll, a race across the field to the "finish-her-off" line. Herald News reporter Joe Hosey will autograph copies of his book "Fatal Vows: The Tragic Wives of Sgt. Drew Peterson," from among the pile of several thousand he still has sitting in his garage.
• The Affordable Family Entertainment Scavenger Hunt (sponsored by the Joliet City Council)-- In a very challenging contest, fans frantically search the ballpark for any food or beverage item that costs less than it does at a Major League stadium.
• Tornado Awareness Night -- To promote tornado safety, the JackHammers decorate Silver Cross Field like the aftermath of a twister, complete with furniture strewn about, garbage trapped along fences and torn banners flapping in the breeze.
I drove by the stadium several times earlier this spring and it looked like the team already had a headstart on this promotion.
• Nobody Night -- Remember the marketing gimmick where the Charleston (S.C.) Riverdogs padlocked the gates of their ballpark and kept fans out so they could record the first professional ballgame with an official attendance of zero?
They're going to try it in Joliet, too. So far, it looks like our taxpayer-funded ballpark will be chained shut with nobody using it for more than 275 nights in 2009!
E-mail Tim Placher at
timplacher@yahoo.com.
